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• The Religious Pilgrimage.
• ΙΧΘϒΟΦΑΓΙΑ.
• The Funeral.
• Echo.
• ΠΟΛϒΔΑΙΤΙΑ, Or, the Unequal Feast.
• Of Things and Words.
• Charon.
• The Assembly of Grammarians.
• ΑΓΑΜΟΣ ΓΑΜΟΣ, Or, the Unequal Marriage.
• The Imposture.
• Cyclops, Or the Gospel-carrier.
• ΑΠΡοΣΔΙοΝϒΣΑ the Impertinents, Or Crosspurposes.
• The False Knight: Or, ΙΠΠΕϒΣ ΑΝΙΠΠΟΣ·
• ΑΣΤΡΑΓΑΛΙΣΜΟΣ.
• ΓϒΝΑΙΚΟΣϒΝΕΔΡΙΟΝ. the Assembly Or Parliament of Women.
• Diluculum: Or, the Early Rising.
• ΝΗΦΑΛΙοΝ ΣϒΜΠοΣΙοΝ. the Sober Feast.
• The Notable Art.
• The Sermon, Or Merdardus.
• The Lover of Glory.
• Opulentia Sordida, Or the Wealthy Miser.
• The Seraphick Funeral.
• Amicitia, Or Friendship.
• Problema.
• The Epicurean.
• The Conflict Between Thalia and Barbarism.
• Des. Erasmus of Rotterdam to the Reader,: Concerning the Profitableness of Colloquies.
• Erasmus of Rotterdam, of the Method of Study, to Christianus of Lubeck.

AMICITIA, or FRIENDSHIP.

The Argument.

EPHORINUS and JOHN.

EPH.

I often admire with myself what God Nature consulted when it intermixt certain secret Amities and Enmities in all Things, for which there is no probable Reason to be given, unless for her own Entertainment, as we set Cocks and Quails a fighting to make us Diversion.

Joh.

I don’t very well take in what you aim at.

Eph.

Well then, I’ll tell you in familiar Instances: You know that Serpents generally are Enemies to Mankind.

Joh.

I know there is an old Enmity betwixt them and us, and an irreconcileable one; which will be so as long as we remember that unlucky Apple.

Eph.

Do you know the Lizard?

Joh.

Why not?

Eph.

There are very large green ones in Italy. This Creature is by Nature very friendly to Mankind, and an utter Enemy to Serpents.

Joh.

How does this appear?

Eph.

Which Way soever a Man turns his Face they will gather about him, turn their Heads towards him, look steadfastly in his Face, and view him a long Time: If he spits, they will lick up his Spittle; nay, I have seen ’em drink up a Boy’s Piss. They suffer themselves to be handled by Boys, and will suffer themselves to be hurt by them without doing them any Harm; and if you put ’em to your Mouth, they love to lick your Spittle; but if you catch them, and set them a fighting together, it is wonderful to see how fierce they are, and will not at all meddle with him that set them a fighting. If any one is walking in the Fields in a hollow Way, by rustling the Bushes sometimes in one Place, and sometimes in another, they will make him take Notice of them. One that is not acquainted with it, would think they were Serpents; when you look at them they turn their Heads to look at you till you stand still; if you go on, they follow you; and if a Man be doing any Thing, they will make him take Notice of them. You would think they were sporting, and mightily delighted with the Sight of a Man.

Joh.

’Tis very admirable.

Eph.

I saw once a very large and charming green Lizard fighting with a Serpent, at the Entrance of a Hole; I wondred at first what was the Meaning of it, for I could not see the Serpent; an Italian told me that the Serpent was within; by and by the Lizard comes to us, as it were shewing us her Wounds, and begging a Remedy, and did not only suffer herself to be touch’d, but as often as we stood still she stood still, viewing us very earnestly. The Serpent had almost gnawed away one of her Sides, and of green had made it red.

Joh.

Had I been there, I should have had a Mind to avenge the Lizard’s Quarrel.

Eph.

But her Enemy had hid herself in the bottom of the Hole: But some Days after we had the Pleasure to see her revenge herself.

Joh.

I am glad at my Heart; but prithee how was it?

Eph.

We happened to be walking near the same Place, and the Serpent had been drinking at a Spring hard by, for it was so violent hot Weather, that we were like to perish with Thirst. A Boy of about thirteen Years old, the Man’s Son where we lodg’d, having fled from Bononia for Fear of the Pestilence, happen’d very luckily to come by, with a Hay-Rake upon his Shoulder; as soon as he saw the Serpent he cries out.

Joh.

Perhaps for Fear.

No, for Joy, rejoicing that he had found the Enemy. The Boy strikes him with the Rake, the Serpent rolls himself up; but he laid on, till, having broke his Head, the Serpent stretch’d himself out, which they never do, but when they are dying; that’s the Reason that you have heard the Apologist, concerning a Crab-Fish, who killing a Serpent that was his Enemy, when he saw him stretch’d out, says thus, You ought to have gone so when you were alive.

Joh.

That was bravely done; but how then?

Eph.

The Boy takes him upon his Rake, and hangs him upon a Shrub over the Cave, and in a few Days Time we saw the Leaves tinctur’d with the Blood of the Serpent. The Husbandmen of that Place related to us a wonderful strange Thing for a certain Truth; that the Countrymen, being weary sometimes, sleep in that Field, and have sometimes with them a Pitcher of Milk, which serves both for Victuals and Drink; that Serpents are great Lovers of Milk, and so it often happens, that they come in their Way: But they have a Remedy for that.

Joh.

Pray what is it?

Eph.

They dawb the Brims of the Pitcher with Garlick, and the Smell of that drives away the Serpents.

Joh.

What does Horace mean then, when he says Garlick is a Poison more hurtful than Henbane, when you say it is an Antidote against Poison?

Eph.

But hear a little, I have something to tell you that is worse than that: They often creep slily into the Mouth of a Man, that lies sleeping with his Mouth open, and so wind themselves into his Stomach.

Joh.

And, does not a Man die immediately, that has entertain’d such a Guest?

Eph.

No, but lives most miserably; nor is there any Remedy, but to feed the Man with Milk, and other Things that the Serpent loves.

Joh.

What, no Remedy against such a Calamity?

Eph.

Yes, to eat Abundance of Garlick.

Joh.

No Wonder then, Mowers love Garlick.

Eph.

But those that are tired with Heat and Labour, have their Remedy another Way; for, when they are in Danger of this Misfortune, very often a Lizard, though but a little Creature, saves a Man.

Joh.

How can he save him?

Eph.

When he perceives a Serpent lying perdue, in Wait for the Man, he runs about upon the Man’s Neck and Face, and never gives over, till he has waked the Man by tickling him, and clawing him gently with his Nails; and as soon as the Man wakes, and sees the Lizard near him, he knows the Enemy is somewhere not far off in Ambuscade; and looking about, seizes him.

Joh.

The wonderful Power of Nature!

Eph.

Now, there is no living Creature that is so great an Enemy to a Man as a Crocodile, who oftentimes devours Men whole, and assists his Malice by an Artifice; having sucked in Water, he makes the Paths slippery where they go to the Nile to draw Water, and when they fall down, there swallows ’em up. Nor can you be ignorant, that Dolphins, that live in a quite different Element, are great Lovers of Men.

Joh.

I have heard a very famous Story of a Boy who was beloved by one; and a more famous one than that, about Arion.

Eph.

Besides that, in catching Mullets the Fishermen make Use of the Assistance of Dolphins instead of Dogs; and when they have caught their Prey, give them Part for their Pains. Nay, more than that, they suffer themselves to be chastised, if they commit any Fault in their hunting them. They frequently appear to Mariners at Sea, rejoicing and playing upon the Top of the Waves; sometimes swimming to the Ship Sides, and leaping over the spread Sails, they are so delighted with the Conversation of Men. But again, as a Dolphin is so very great a Lover of Men; so he is a mortal Enemy to the Crocodile. He goes out of the Sea, and dares to venture into the River Nile, where the Crocodile domineers, and attacks the monstrous Animal that is defended p. 305 with Teeth, Claws, and Scales more impenetrable than Iron; when he himself is not very well framed for biting neither, his Mouth inclining to his Breast: Yet, for all that, he runs violently upon his Enemy, and coming near him, diveth down on a sudden, gets under his Belly, and setting up his Fins, pricks him in the soft Part of his Belly; which is the only Place he can be wounded in.

Joh.

It is a wonderful Thing, that an Animal should know his Enemy, tho’ he never saw him before in his Life; and to know, both why he should be attack’d, and where he can be hurt, and how to defend himself, when a Man has not that Faculty; who would not have Sense enough to be afraid of a Basilisk, unless he were warned before-Hand, and taught by having received Harm.

Eph.

A Horse, you know, is a Creature devoted to the Service of Man; and there is a capital Enmity between him and a Bear, that is an Enemy to Man: He knows his Enemy, tho’ he has never seen him before, and presently prepares himself to engage him.

Joh.

What Arms does he fight with?

Eph.

Rather with Art than Strength: He leaps over the Enemy, and strikes his hind Legs on his Head. The Bear, on the other Hand, claws at the soft Part of the Horse’s Belly. The Poison of an Asp is incurable to a Man; and the Ichneumon makes War with the Asp, and is likewise a mortal Enemy to the Crocodile. An Elephant is also very well affected toward Mankind; for they very kindly shew the Way to a Traveller that has happened to lose it; and they know and love their Teacher. There are likewise Examples of an extraordinary Love toward Mankind: For, one of them fell in Love with an Ægyptian Maid that sold Garlands that was beloved of Aristophanes the Grammarian; and another lov’d Menander a Youth of Syracuse so affectionately, that he would not eat his Victuals when he was out of his Sight. But not to mention any more of this Nature, tho’ there is Abundance related: When King Bocchus had a Mind to exercise his Cruelty toward 30 Persons, he p. 306 determined to expose them, bound to Stakes, to so many Elephants; but they that were sent out among the Elephants, to provoke them, could never bring them to be Executioners of the King’s Cruelty. There is likewise a very destructive Antipathy between this Creature, so friendly to Mankind, and the Indian Dragons, which are reported to be the largest that are; so that they oftentimes both perish in the Engagement. There is the like Disagreement between the Eagle and the lesser Dragon, altho’ it is harmless towards Men; as it has been reported to have borne amorous Affections towards certain Maidens. There is likewise a deadly Enmity between the Eagle and the Cymindis, or Night-Hawk. And also an Elephant hates a Mouse, a troublesome Creature to Mankind, and won’t touch a Bit of Provender that it sees a Mouse in; nor is there any manifest Cause why it hates him so: It is with good Reason it hates the Horse-Leech; because if it happens to sup it up in its Drink, it torments him miserably. There is scarce any Animal that is more friendly to Man than a Dog is, nor a greater Enemy to him than a Wolf, so that a Man loses his Speech if he sees him; and between these two there is the utmost Discord; as a Wolf is the most bitter Enemy to Sheep, which have their Dependance merely upon the Providence of Mankind, whose Care it is to defend this harmless Creature made for the Nourishment of Man. They are all in Arms against the Wolf, as against the common Enemy of Mankind, especially the whole Army of Dogs; so that it is grown into a Proverb, I’ll give you no more Quarter than a Dog does to a Wolf. The Sea-Hare is an incurable Poison to Mankind, if any Body taste it unawares; again, on the other Hand, the Touch of a Man is Death to that Hare. A Panther is a very fierce Beast towards a Man; and yet is so afraid of a Hyæna, that it does not dare to engage him; and hence they say, that if any Body carry a Piece of a Hyæna Skin about him, a Panther won’t set upon him, there is such a Sagacity in their natural Sense: and they add also, that if you hang their two Skins one over against the other, the p. 307 Panther Hair will fall off. A Spider is an Animal that is one of a Man’s own Family, but is very destructive to a Serpent; so that if he happen to see a Serpent sunning himself under a Tree, it will spin down and fix his Sting so sharply in his Forehead, that the Serpent will roll himself up, and die at last. I have heard it told by those that have seen it, that there is the like Enmity between a Toad and a Spider; but that the Toad cures himself, when he is wounded, by biting of a Plantane Leaf. I’ll tell you an English Story: I suppose you know ’tis the Custom there to strew the Floor with green Rushes; a certain Monk had carried some Bundles of these Rushes into his Chamber, to strew them at his Leisure; and happening to take a Nap after Dinner, a great Toad creeps out and gets upon his Mouth while he lay asleep, fixing his Feet, two upon his upper and two upon his under Lip. To draw off the Toad was certain Death; to let him be there was worse than Death itself. Some persuaded that the Monk should be carried and laid upon his Back in the Window where a great Spider had his Web. It was done: The Spider presently seeing her Enemy, spins down, darts her Sting into the Toad, and runs up again to her Web; the Toad swelled, but was not gotten off. The Spider spins down a second Time, and gives him another Wound; it swells more, but still is alive: The Spider repeats it a third Time; then the Toad takes off his Feet and drops off dead. This Piece of Service the Spider did her Landlord.

Joh.

You tell me a wonderful strange Story.

Eph.

I’ll tell you now not what I have heard, but what I have seen with my own Eyes. An Ape has an unmeasureable Aversion to a Tortoise; a certain Person gave me a Specimen of this when I was at Rome: He set a Tortoise upon the Head of his Servant, and put his Hat upon it, and then brought him to the Monkey; the Ape presently, with much Alacrity, leaps upon the Lad’s Shoulders to catch Lice in his Head, and taking off his Hat spies the Tortoise. It was amazing to see with what Horror he leap’d away, how frighted he was, and with what Fearfulness he look’d back to see whether the Tortoise follow’d him or not. There was likewise another Specimen: the Tortoise was tied to the Monkey’s Chain, that he could not avoid seeing him. It is incredible how much he was tormented; he was almost dead with Fear: sometimes turning his Back, he would endeavour to beat off the Tortoise with his hinder Feet; at last, he piss’d and shit towards him all that was in his Belly, and with the Fright fell into such a Fever, that we were forced to let him loose, and put him into a Bath made of Wine and Water.

Joh.

There was no Reason that the Monkey should be afraid of the Tortoise.

Eph.

There may, perhaps, be something natural in it, that we are not acquainted with. Why a Linnet should hate an Ass, is easily accounted for; because he rubs himself against the Thorns, and eats off the Flowers of the Hedge where she makes her Nest; and she is so affrighted at the Sight of an Ass, that if she hear him bray, tho’ it be a great Way off, she throws down her Eggs, and her young ones fall out of the Nest for Fear. But however, she does not suffer him to pass unrevenged.

Joh.

How can a Linnet do any Hurt to an Ass?

Eph.

She pecks his sore Back, that is gall’d with Blows and Burdens, and the soft Part of his Nose. We may also guess at the Cause, why there is a mutual Grudge between the Fox and the Kite, because the ravenous Fowl is always laying Wait to catch the Foxes Whelps; and very likely, on the other Hand, that the Fox does the same by her young ones; which is the Cause of the Dissension between the Rat and the Heron. And the same Reason may be given for the Enmity between the little Bird call’d a Merlin and the Fox; the Merlin breaks the Crows Eggs; the Foxes persecute them, and they the Foxes, pecking their Whelps, which the Crows seeing, join their Assistance, as against a common Enemy. But I can’t find out any Reason, why the Swan and the Eagle, the Raven and the Green-Bird, the Rook and the Owl, the Eagle and the Wren, should hate one another; unless it be that the latter hates the Eagle because he is called the King of Birds. Why should an Owl be an Enemy to small Birds, a Weesel to a Crow, a Turtle-Dove to a Candle-Fly, the Ichneumon (Indian Rats) Wasps to the Spiders call’d Phalangiae, Ducks to Sea-Gulls, the Harpe to the Buzzard-Hawk, the Wolf to the Lion? And besides, why should Rats have an Aversion to a Tree where Ants are? Why is there so irreconcileable an Enmity between a Beetle and an Eagle? For the Fable was framed from the Nature of that Animal. Hence it is, that near to Olynthus, in a certain Place, Beetles will not live if they are brought into it. And then again, between Creatures that live in the Water; what Reason is there why the Mullet and the Pike mutually hate one another, as the Conger and Lamprey, that gnaw one another’s Tails? The Lobster has such an Hatred to the Polypus, that if it chance to see it near him, he dies with Fear. On the contrary, a certain hidden Affection of Good-Will has united other Creatures, as Peacocks and Doves, Turtles and Parrots, Black-birds and Thrushes, Crows and Herns, who mutually assist one another against the Fox; the Harpe and Kite against the Triorche, which is a Kind of Hawk, and a common Enemy to ’em. The Musculus, a little Fish swimming before the Whale, is a Guide to him; nor does it appear why he is thus serviceable to him. For, that the Crocodile opens his Jaws for the little Wren, is not to be attributed to Friendship, when either Creature is led by its own Advantage. The Crocodile loves to have his Teeth cleansed, and therefore embraces the Pleasure of having them pick’d; and the Wren seeks her Food, feeding upon the Fragments of Fish that stick in the other’s Teeth: And for the same Reason, a Crow rides upon a Sow’s Back. There is such a stubborn Enmity between the Anthus and Ægythus, that it is affirmed their Blood will not mingle one with the other; just as it is related of other Birds, that their Feathers will consume away if they be mingled with those of the Eagle. A Hawk is a deadly Enemy to the Dove Kind, but the little Bird the Kestrel defends them; for a Hawk is wonderfully afraid either to see or hear that Bird. Nor are the Pigeons ignorant of this; wheresoever the Kestrel has her Nest, they’ll never leave that Place, relying upon their Defenders. Who can give a Reason why a Kestrel should be so friendly to Pigeons, or why a Hawk should be so afraid of a Kestrel? And as a very little Animal is sometimes a Safeguard to a great Beast; so on the contrary, a very little one is often a Destruction to a great one. There is a little Fish in the form of a Scorpion, and of the Size of the Fish Quaquiner; he sometimes sticks his Sting into the Fin of Tunnies, that often are bigger than a Dolphin, and puts them to that Torture, that they sometimes leap into Ships; and the same he does to the Mullet. What should be the Reason that a Lion, that is terrible to all Animals, should be struck with Fear at hearing a Cock crow?

Joh.

That I may not be altogether Shot-free in this Entertainment, I’ll tell you what I saw with my own Eyes, in the House of that famous Englishman Sir Thomas More: He kept in his House a large Monkey, who, that he might the sooner get well of a Wound he had received, was suffer’d to go loose. At the End of the Garden there were Rabbets kept in Hutches, and a Weesel used to watch them very narrowly. The Monkey sitting aloof off, quietly, as tho’ unconcern’d, observ’d all his Motions, till he saw the Rabbets were in no Danger from him. But perceiving the Weesel had loosened a Board in the back Part of the Hutch, and that now they were in Danger to be attack’d in the Rear, and so be made a Prey to their Enemy, the Ape runs, jumps up on the Plank, and put it into its former Place, with as much Dexterity as any Man could have done. From whence ’tis plain, that Apes are great Lovers of this Animal. So the Coneys, not knowing their own Danger, that used to kiss their Enemy through the Grate, were preserved by the Monkey.

Eph.

Apes are mightily delighted with all young Whelps, p. 311 and love to hug them, and carry them about in their Arms. But that good-natur’d Monkey did really deserve to be made Amends for his Kindness.

Joh.

And he was too.

Eph.

How?

Joh.

He found there a Piece of Bread that had, I suppose, been thrown there by the Children, which he took up and eat.

Eph.

But it seems most admirable to me, that this Kind of Sympathy and Antipathy, as the Greeks call a natural Affection of Friendship and Enmity, should be found even in Things that have neither Life nor Sense. I omit to mention the Ash-Tree, the very Shadow of which a Serpent can’t endure; so that how far soever it spreads, if you make a Circle of Fire of the same Bigness, the Serpent will sooner go into the Fire than into the Shadow of the Tree. For there are Examples innumerable of this Kind. Moths included in Parchment, are transformed into Butterflies, by some secret Workmanship of Nature, tho’ they seem as if they were dead, and stir not if you touch them, unless a Spider creep near them; then only they appear to be alive: They can’t feel the Touch of a Man’s Finger; but they feel the Feet of a very small Animal crawling.

Joh.

An Insect, before it is alive, can be sensible of his capital Enemy. That which is related concerning Persons murdered is very like this; to whom if other Persons approach, there is no Alteration; but if he that killed them comes nigh, presently Blood flows fresh out of the Wound; and, they say, that by this Token the Author of a Murder has been often discovered.

Eph.

What you have heard, as to that Matter, is no Fiction. But, not to mention Democritical Stories, do we not find by Experience, that there is a mighty Disagreement between an Oak and an Olive-Tree, that they will both die if they be planted into the Ground of each other? And that an Oak is so opposite to a Walnut-Tree, that it will die tho’ it be set at a good Distance from it; and indeed a Walnut-Tree is hurtful to most Sorts of Plants and Trees. Again, tho’ a Vine will twine its Sprigs round all other Things else, yet it shuns a Colewort; and, as tho’ it were sensible of it, turns itself another Way, as if some Person gave the Vine Notice that his Enemy was near at Hand. The Juice of Coleworts is a Thing contrary to Wine, and they are used to be eaten against Drunkenness: But the Colewort has its Enemy too; for, if it be set near the Herb called Sow-Bread, or wild Marjoram, it will wither presently. There is the like Disposition between Hemlock and Wine; as Hemlock is Poison to a Man, so is Wine to Hemlock. What secret Commerce is there between the Lily and the Garlick, that growing near to one another, they seem, as it were, mutually to congratulate one another? The Garlick is the stronger, but the Lily-Flower smells the sweeter. Why should I speak of the Marriage of Trees one with another? the Females being barren unless the Male grows near them. Oil will only mix with Chalk; and both of them have an Antipathy to Water. Pitch attracts Oil, tho’ they are both fat Things. All Things but Gold swim in Quicksilver, and that only draws it to itself and embraces it. What Sense of Nature is that which seems to be in a Diamond, that will resist every Thing that is hard, but grow soft in a Goat’s Blood? Nay, you may see an Antipathy even in Poisons themselves. A Scorpion, if it chance to creep thro’ Henbane, grows pale and benumbed. And the Herb Cerastis is so noxious to a Scorpion, that he that handles the Seed of it, may take a Scorpion into his Hand. There are Abundance of Things of this Kind, but the Consideration of them more properly belongs to Physicians. What a mighty Power of either Sympathy or Antipathy is there between the Steel and the Loadstone, that a Matter heavy by Nature should run to, and cleave to a Stone, as tho’ it kissed it; and without touching it, should fly backward? And as to Water, which readily mingles with all Things, but most of all with itself; yet there are some Waters which, as tho’ they hated one another, will not mix; as for instance, the River flowing into the Lake Fucinus, runs over it; as Addua does to Larius, as Ticinus to Verbanus, Mincius to Benacus, Ollius to Sevinus, Rhodanus to Lemanus: some of which for many Miles only carry their hospitable Streams thro’ ’em, and go out just as much and no more than they came in. The River Tygris flows into the Lake Arethusa, and is carried thro’ it like a Passenger, that neither the Colour, the Fish, nor the Nature of the Water intermixes one with the other. And besides, whereas other Rivers generally seem at it were in Haste to flow into the Sea; yet some Rivers, as tho’ they had an Aversion to it before they come at it, hide themselves in the Earth. There is something of a like Nature to be observed concerning the Winds; the South Wind is pestilential to Mankind; the North Wind, on the contrary, healthful; one collects the Clouds, the other scatters them. And if we may believe Astrologers, there is a certain Sympathy and Antipathy in the very Stars themselves, some are friendly to Mankind, and others hurtful; and some are helpful to a Man against the Influences of the noxious ones: So that there is nothing in Nature, but by these Sympathies and Antipathies, brings a Man Injuries and Remedies.

Joh.

And perhaps you may find something above the Skies too; for if we believe the Magi, there are two Genius’s, a good and a bad, that attend every Man.

Eph.

I think it’s very well, and enough for us that we are got so far as Heaven, without passing over the Limits of it. But let us return to Oxen and Horses.

Joh.

In Truth you make a very fine Transition.

Eph.

It is the more admirable to us, that in the same Species of Animals we find manifest Footsteps of Sympathy and Antipathy, no Cause of it appearing: For so your Horse-Coursers and Herdsmen endeavour to persuade us, that in the same Pastures, and the same Stable, one Horse shall desire to have one Horse nigh him, and won’t endure another. Indeed, I am of Opinion, that there is the like Affection in all Kind of living Creatures, besides the Favour p. 314 of Sex; but is in no Kind so evident, as it is in Man. For what Catullus expresses of his Volusius, concerning his Affection of Mind, is manifest in a great many others:

• I love thee not, Volusius; and if thou askest why?
• I love thee not, Volusius, is all I can reply.

But in adult Persons, a Person may conjecture another Cause: In Children that are only led by the Sense of Nature, what can it be that makes a Child love one so dearly, and have such an Aversion to another? I myself, when I was a Boy not eight Years of Age, happen’d to fall into the Acquaintance of one of my own Age, or perhaps a Year older, of so vain a Humour, that upon every Occasion he would invent, without study, most monstrous Lyes. If he met a Woman, he would say to me, Do you see that Woman? I answered Yes, I see her. Why, says he, I have lain with her ten Times. If we went over a narrow Bridge, nigh a Mill, when he perceiv’d me shock’d at the Sight of the Water looking black by Reason of the Depth, he’d say, I fell into this Place once, what say you to that? And there I found the dead Body of a Man, with a Purse tied about him, and three Rings in it. And thus he would do continually. And tho’ it is common for others to be delighted with such Romances as these, I abhor’d him more than a Viper, and knew no Reason for it, but only a certain hidden Instinct in Nature. Nor was this only temporary; but to this very Day I so naturally hate those vain lying Persons, that at the very Sight of them I perceive my whole Constitution to be shock’d. Homer takes Notice of something of the like Nature in Achilles, when he says he hated Lies as much as the Gates of Hell. But tho’ I was born with this natural Disposition; yet, contrary to it, I seem to have been born to have to do with Liars and Impostors thro’ the whole Course of my Life.

Joh.

But I don’t take in what this tends to.

Eph.

I’ll tell you in a few Words: There are some that fetch their Felicity from Magical Arts, others from the Stars; I think there is no surer Way of coming at it, than if every one would abstain from that Sort of Life that he has a natural Aversion to, and betake himself to that he has a natural Inclination to, always excluding those Things that are dishonest; and that he would withdraw himself from the Conversation of those, whose Disposition he perceives does not agree with his own; and join himself with such as he finds he has a natural Propensity to.

Joh.

If that were done, there would be Friendship between some few.

Eph.

Christian Charity extends itself to all; but Familiarity is to be contracted with but few: And he that does no hurt to any Body, tho’ he be bad, and would rejoice if he would grow better, in my Opinion, loves all as becomes a Christian to do.

305

The stories about elephants, etc., are from Pliny, Nat. Hist., book viii. It was not thirty “Persons” according to Pliny, but thirty Elephants which the king desired to torture. The original is somewhat ambiguous, “triginta quosdam.”

A Proverb, I’ll give you no more Quarter than a Dog does to a Wolf306

Lit., “We will spare them no more than wolves,” Aristophanes. Rewards were offered in Attica and elsewhere for the destruction of them.

307

Custom in England of strewing the Floor with green Rushes. Erasmus describes in one of his letters the filthy and unhealthy condition of English houses in consequence of this custom. See Brand’s Popular Antiquities, ii. 13.

Democritical Stories311

Democritus the great philosopher of Abdera, about 460 B.C., generally called the laughing philosopher, from his satirical habit. His contemporaries appear to have returned his scorn upon himself and his speculations.

314

Catullus’s epigram on Volusius. This is a mistake— a rare lapse of memory on Erasmus’ part. The epigram alluded to is Martial’s, and the person who is its object, Sabidius, i., 33:—

• Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
• Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te.

As to the famous English adaptation of the epigram, a correspondent of “Notes and Queries” says the author was Tom Brown, who wrote “Dialogues of the Dead,” and the person referred to was Dr. Fell, Dean of Christchurch (1625—1686) who expelled him, but said he would remit the sentence if he translated the thirty-third epigram of Martial. The result was the well-known lines:—

• “I do not like thee, Dr. Fell,
• The reason why I cannot tell;
• But this I know, I know full well,
• I do not like thee, Dr. Fell.”
• Brewer’s Dict. of Phrase and Fable.

As to Volusius, Catullus has an ode against him and his Annals (xxxvi) beginning, “Annales Volusî, cacata charta, etc.” Hence the confusion of recollection in the text.