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• The Religious Pilgrimage.
• ΙΧΘϒΟΦΑΓΙΑ.
• The Funeral.
• Echo.
• ΠΟΛϒΔΑΙΤΙΑ, Or, the Unequal Feast.
• Of Things and Words.
• Charon.
• The Assembly of Grammarians.
• ΑΓΑΜΟΣ ΓΑΜΟΣ, Or, the Unequal Marriage.
• The Imposture.
• Cyclops, Or the Gospel-carrier.
• ΑΠΡοΣΔΙοΝϒΣΑ the Impertinents, Or Crosspurposes.
• The False Knight: Or, ΙΠΠΕϒΣ ΑΝΙΠΠΟΣ·
• ΑΣΤΡΑΓΑΛΙΣΜΟΣ.
• ΓϒΝΑΙΚΟΣϒΝΕΔΡΙΟΝ. the Assembly Or Parliament of Women.
• Diluculum: Or, the Early Rising.
• ΝΗΦΑΛΙοΝ ΣϒΜΠοΣΙοΝ. the Sober Feast.
• The Notable Art.
• The Sermon, Or Merdardus.
• The Lover of Glory.
• Opulentia Sordida, Or the Wealthy Miser.
• The Seraphick Funeral.
• Amicitia, Or Friendship.
• Problema.
• The Epicurean.
• The Conflict Between Thalia and Barbarism.
• Des. Erasmus of Rotterdam to the Reader,: Concerning the Profitableness of Colloquies.
• Erasmus of Rotterdam, of the Method of Study, to Christianus of Lubeck.

The SERAPHICK FUNERAL.

The Argument.

PHILECOUS and THEOTIMUS.

PH.

Why, where have you been, Theotimus, with that new-fashion’d religious Look?

Th.

Why so?

Ph.

You look so stern, methinks, with your Eyes fix’d upon the Ground, your Head lying upon your left Shoulder, and your Beads in your Hand.

Th.

Why, my Friend, if you must needs be made acquainted with that which don’t concern you, I have been at a Show.

Ph.

What have you been seeing, the Rope-Dancers, or High German Artist, or something of that Nature?

Th.

Something pretty like them.

Ph.

In short, you are the first Man I ever saw come from a Show with such a Countenance.

Th.

But let me tell you, this was such a Spectacle, that if yourself had been a Spectator, perhaps you had been more melancholy than I am.

Ph.

But prithee tell me what has made you so religious all on a sudden?

Th.

I come from the Funeral of a Seraph.

Ph.

What say you? why, do the Angels die?

Th.

No, but Angels Fellows do. But not to keep you any longer in Suspense, I suppose you know that famous learned Man Eusebius of Pelusium.

Ph.

What, do you mean he that was degraded of his Authority from a Prince, to the State of a private Man, and of a private Man made an Exile, and of an Exile made little better than a Beggar; I had like to have said something Worse?

Th.

You have hit very right, that’s the Man.

Ph.

Why, what’s come to him?

Th.

He was bury’d to Day, and I am just come from his Funeral.

Ph.

Sure it must have been a very doleful Sight indeed, to put you into this dismal Mood.

Th.

I’m afraid I shall never be able to tell you what I have seen without weeping.

Ph.

And I am afraid I shan’t be able to hear it without laughing: But however, let’s have it.

Th.

You know that Eusebius has been in a very weak Condition a long Time.

Ph.

Yes, yes, I know that his Body has been worn out for this many a Year.

Th.

In this Sort of slow and consumptive Diseases Physicians frequently foretell the Time of a Man’s Death to a Day.

Ph.

They do so.

Th.

They told the Patient, that all the Art of Man could do towards his Preservation, had been done for him already: That God indeed could do what was beyond the Power of Physic to effect, but according to human Conjecture he had not above three Days to live.

Ph.

Well, what did he do then?

Th.

The excellent Eusebius immediately stripping himself stark-naked, puts on the Habit of the most holy Francis, has his Head shav’d, is drest in an ash-colour’d Cowl and Gown, an hempen knotted Girdle, and cut and slash’d Shoes.

Ph.

What, when he was departing this Life?

Th.

Even so; and with a dying Voice profess’d, that if it should please God to restore him to the Health that the Physicians despair’d of, he would serve under Christ according to the Rule of St. Francis; and there were several holy Men call’d in to be Witnesses to this Profession. In that Habit dies the famous Man, at the very Time that the Physicians had foretold he would. There came a great many of the Fraternity to assist at his Funeral Solemnity.

Ph.

I wish I had been present at this Sight.

Th.

It would have fetch’d Tears from your Eyes, to have seen with what tenderness the Seraphick Fraternity wash’d the Body, fitted the holy Habit to it, laid his Hands one over another in the Form of a Cross, uncover’d and kiss’d his naked Feet, and according to the Precept of the Gospel, chear’d up his Countenance with Ointment.

Ph.

What a prodigious Humility was this, for the Seraphick Brethren to take upon them the Office of Washers and Bearers?

Th.

When this was done, they laid it upon the Bier, and according to the Doctrine of St. Paul, Bear ye one another’s Burdens, the Brethren took the Brother upon their Shoulders, and carry’d him along the high Way to the Monastery, and there they interr’d him with the usual Songs and Ceremonies. As this venerable Pomp was passing along the Way, I observ’d a great many People, that could not forbear weeping to see a Man, that us’d to go in Silk and Scarlet, now wrapt in a Franciscan’s Habit, girded about with a Rope’s End, and the whole Body dispos’d in such a Posture, as must needs move Devotion; for, as I said, his Head was laid upon his Shoulder, and his Arms across, and every Thing else carry’d a wonderful Appearance of Holiness. And then the March of the Seraphick Brethren themselves with their Heads hanging down, their Eyes fix’d upon the Ground, and their mournful Dirges, so mournful, that I can scarce think that in Hell itself there can be any Thing beyond it, drew Sighs and Tears in Abundance from the Beholders.

Ph.

But had he the five Wounds of St. Francis too?

Th.

I dare not affirm that for a Certainty, but I saw some bluish Scars in his Hands and Feet; and there was an Hole in the left Side of his Gown; but I did not dare to look too narrowly; for they say many People have been undone, by being too curious in these Matters.

Ph.

But did you not see some that laught too?

Th.

Yes, I did take Notice of some, but I believe they were Hereticks; there are too many of them in the World now-a-Days.

Ph.

Well, my Theotimus, to deal honestly with you, if I had been there, in my Conscience, I believe I should scarce have been able to forbear laughing too, for Company.

Th.

Pray God you han’t got a Spice of that Leaven too!

Ph.

Good Theotimus, there’s no Danger of that; for I have had a great Veneration for St. Francis from a Child, who, according to the World, was neither wise, nor learned, but very acceptable to God and Man for the strict Mortification of his worldly Affections; and not only for him, but for all, who following his Foot-Steps, endeavour from their Hearts to be dead to the World, and to live to Christ. But as to the Habit itself, I value it not; and I would fain know of you what a dead Man is the better for a Garment?

Th.

You know it is the Lord’s Precept, Not to cast Pearls before Swine, nor to give holy Things to Dogs. Besides, if you ask Questions to make yourself merry with them, I’ll tell you nothing at all; but if you do it with an honest Desire of being inform’d, I’ll very freely communicate to you what I have learn’d from them.

Ph.

I profess myself willing to learn, and promise to be an attentive, teachable, and thankful Scholar.

Th.

In the first Place, you know that there are some Persons that are so ambitious, that it is not enough for them to have liv’d proudly and insolently, but they must be bury’d pompously too, when they are dead; not that the Dead are sensible, but yet while they are alive, they take some Pleasure by the Force of Imagination, to think of the Pomp of their Funerals. Now I suppose you will not deny, but it is some Degree of Piety to renounce this vain Affection.

Ph.

I will own it, if there be no other Way to avoid the Vanity of pompous Funerals: But in my Opinion, it is more modest for a Prince, when he is dead, to be wrapt in a coarse Winding-Sheet, and to be carry’d by the common Bearers, and interr’d in the common Burying-Place among the common Sort of People; for they that were carry’d, as Eusebius was carry’d, do rather seem to have chang’d their Pride than avoided it.

Th.

It is the Intention of the Mind that God accepts, and it is His Province only to judge of Mens Hearts. But what I have told you is but a small Matter, there are greater Things behind.

Ph.

What are they?

Th.

They profess themselves of the Order of St. Francis’s Rule before their Death.

Ph.

What, that they’ll observe it in the Elysian Fields?

Th.

No, but in this World, if they happen to recover, and it oftentimes has happen’d, that they, that have been given over by the Physicians, have, by God’s Blessing, recover’d as soon as ever they have put on this holy Robe.

Ph.

Ay, and it often happens so to those that never put it on at all.

Th.

We ought to walk with Simplicity in the Way of Faith. If there were no extraordinary Advantage in this Case, certainly so many learned and eminent Persons, even among the Italians themselves, would not be so desirous of being bury’d in this holy Habit. But lest you should object against the Examples of Strangers, I’ll tell you that one whom you very deservedly had an high Esteem for, was thus bury’d; Rudolphus Agricola, and so was Christopher Longolius too.

Ph.

I don’t regard what Men do, being delirious at the Point of Death: I would fain have you tell me what good professing, or being cloath’d, does a Man, when he comes to be terrify’d with the Fears of Death, and discompos’d with Despair of Life. Vows are of no Force, unless they be made in sound Sense and Sobriety, with mature Deliberation, without either Force, Fear, or Guilt. Nay, if nothing of all this were requir’d, such a Vow is not binding till after the Expiration of the Year of Probation, at which Time they are commanded to wear the Coat and Hood. This is what St. Francis himself says; so that if they recover, they are at Liberty in two Respects, because a Vow is not binding that is made by a Man under an Astonishment, betwixt the Hope of Life and the Fear of Death; and because Profession does not oblige a Man before the wearing of the Hood.

Th.

Whether it be an Obligation or no, it is certain they think it one; and the Resignation of the whole Mind is acceptable to God. And this is the Reason that the good Works of Monks, if we allow them to be but equal with other Persons, are more acceptable to God than those of other Men are, because they spring from the best Root.

Ph.

I shall not here enter into the Examination of the Merit of a Man’s dedicating himself wholly to God, when he is no longer in his own Power. I take it that every Christian delivers himself up wholly to God in his Baptism, when he renounces all the Pomps and Vanities of Satan, and lists himself a Soldier to fight under Christ’s Banner all his Life after. And St. Paul, speaking of those that die with Christ, that they may live no longer to themselves, but to him that died for them; does not mean this of Monks only, but of Christians universally.

Th.

You have very seasonably put me in Mind of Baptism; for in Times past, if they were but dip’d or sprinkled at the last Gasp, there was Hope given them of eternal Life.

Ph.

’Tis no great Matter what the Bishops promise; but ’tis a Matter of great Uncertainty what God will do; for if it were certain that such Men were presently made Citizens of Heaven, by having a little Water sprinkled in their Faces, what greater Gap could be laid open, that worldly Men might all their Life long serve their filthy Lusts and Appetites, and then get two or three Drops of Water sprinkled upon them, when they were not able to sin any longer? Now if the same Rule holds in your Profession, and this Baptism, it is very well provided for the wicked, that they may not be damn’d; that is, that they may live to the Devil, and die to Christ.

Th.

If it be lawful to divulge the Seraphick Mysteries, the Profession of a Franciscan is more efficacious than Baptism.

Ph.

What’s that you say?

Th.

In Baptism our Sins are only wash’d away, and the Soul, tho’ it be purg’d, is left naked; but he that is invested with this Profession, is presently enrich’d with the egregious Merits of the whole Order, by being grafted into the Body of the most holy Fraternity.

Ph.

Well, and pray is he that is ingrafted into the Body of Christ never the better neither for the Head nor the Body?

Th.

He is never the better for the Seraphick Body, unless he deserves it by some special Bounty or Favour.

Ph.

Pray from what Angel had they this Revelation?

Th.

Let me tell you, not from any Angel, but Christ himself with his own Mouth reveal’d this, and a great Deal more to St. Francis, Face to Face.

Ph.

I intreat you, if you have any Kindness for me, and I adjure you, tell me what the Discourses were.

Th.

These are deep profound Mysteries, nor is it meet to commit them to profane Ears.

Ph.

Why profane, my Friend? I never wish’d better to any Order than to the Seraphick.

Th.

But you give them shrewd Wipes sometimes.

Ph.

This is a Sign of Love, Theotimus. The greatest Enemies of the Order are those Professors of it, that by their ill Lives bring a Scandal upon it. And whosoever wishes well to the Order, can’t but be offended with the Corrupters of it.

Th.

But I am afraid St. Francis will be angry with me, if I blab any of his Secrets.

Ph.

What can you be afraid of from so harmless a Person?

Th.

What? why lest he should strike me blind, or cause me to run mad, as I am told he has done to many, who have deny’d the Print of the five Wounds.

Ph.

Why then the Saints are worse in Heaven, than they were upon Earth. I have heard that St. Francis was of so meek a Disposition, that when Boys out of Roguery would be throwing Cheese, Milk, Dirt, and Stones into his homely Cowl, as it hung down at his Back, he was not at all mov’d at it, but walk’d on his Way chearful and pleasant; and what, is he now become so angry and revengeful? And at another Time when one of his Companions call’d him Thief, sacrilegious, Murderer, incestuous, Sot, and all the Rogues he could think on, he thank’d him, confessing himself guilty. But one of the Company wondering at such an Acknowledgement, I had done worse than all this, says he, unless God’s Grace had restrain’d me. How then comes St. Francis now to be so vindictive?

Th.

It is so: The Saints, now they are in Heaven, will take no Affront. Was ever any Man gentler than Cornelius, milder than Antony, or more patient than John the Baptist, while they liv’d upon Earth? But now they are in Heaven, what dreadful Diseases do they send among us, if we do not worship them as we should do?

Ph.

I am of Opinion that they rather cure our Diseases than cause them. But however, assure yourself, that what you say to me, you say to a Man that is neither profane, nor a Blab.

Th.

Well, come on then, depending upon your Secrecy, I’ll tell you something relating to this Matter. Good St. Francis, I intreat thee and the Society, that I may have your Leave to relate what I have heard! St. Paul, you know, was endow’d with an hidden Wisdom, which he did not communicate openly, but in private, to such as were perfect. So have the Seraphicks also certain Mysteries, which they do not make common, but only communicate them in private to certain blessed Widows, and other choice and godly People, that are Well-wishers to the Seraphick Society.

Ph.

I am impatient to hear this triple holy Revelation.

Th.

In the first Place, the Lord foretold the Seraphick Patriarch, that the more the Seraphick Society increas’d, the more abundantly he would make Provision for them.

Ph.

So then, at first Dash here are those People’s Mouths stop’d, who complain that those People growing more numerous every Day, are a Burden to the Public.

Th.

And secondly, he discover’d this, that annually upon St. Francis’s Day, all the Souls not only of the Brotherhood, who wear the holy Habit, but also of those who wish well to that Order, and are Benefactors to the Brotherhood, should be discharg’d from the Fire of Purgatory.

Ph.

Why, did Christ talk so familiarly with him?

Th.

Why not? Yes he did, as familiarly as one Friend or Companion would do with another. God the Father convers’d with Moses; and Moses communicated the Law so deliver’d to him, to the People: Christ publish’d the Evangelical Law, and St. Francis deliver’d two Copies of his Law, that had been written by the Hands of an Angel, to the Seraphick Fraternity.

Ph.

I want to hear the third Revelation.

Th.

The worthy Patriarch was in Fear, lest the Evil One should corrupt, by Night, the good Seed which had been sown, and the Wheat should be rooted up with the Tares. The Lord likewise freed him from this Scruple, promising him, that he would take it into his Care, that none of the half-shod, rope-girded Tribe, should ever miscarry, even till the Day of Judgment.

Ph.

Oh, the Kindness of God! If it were not so, the Church of God would be undone. But go on.

Th.

And then fourthly, he discover’d to him, that none that liv’d impiously should long persevere in that Order.

Ph.

Why, does not he that lives wickedly fall from the Order?

Th.

No more than he that lives wickedly denies Christ; altho’ in a Sense they may be said to deny God, who profess him in Words, but in Works deny him. But whosoever has cast off the holy Habit, he irreparably falls from the Order.

Ph.

What shall we say then of so many Monasteries of Conventuals who have Money, drink, game, whore, and keep Concubines publickly; not to mention any Thing else.

Th.

St. Francis never wore a Garment of that Colour, I mean a grey, nor a Girdle of white Linen; and therefore, when they come to knock at Heaven Gates, it will be said to them, I never knew you, for that they have not on the Wedding-Garment.

Ph.

Well, what, have you any more?

Th.

You have heard nothing yet to what is behind. In the fifth Place, he made known to him, that those who were Enemies to the Seraphick Order, such as there are but too many, the more is the Pity, should never live half the Time God had appointed them, without making-away with themselves; and that unless they anticipated their Fate, they should suddenly come to a miserable End.

Ph.

We have, among Abundance of other Instances, seen that made good in Matthew Cardinal of Sedunum, who had a very ill Opinion, and spoke ill of the half-shod Fraternity; for the died, I think, before he was full 50 Years of Age.

Th.

You say very right; but then he had done Injury to the Cherubick Order likewise: For they say, it was brought about chiefly by his Management, that the four Dominicans were burnt at Bern, when otherwise they would have overcome the Pope’s Resentment by Money.

Ph.

But they say they had begun to act a Piece of most monstrous Impiety. They attempted, by false Visions and Miracles, to persuade People, that the Virgin Mary was polluted with original Sin, and that St. Francis had not the genuine Marks of Christ’s Wounds, and that Catharina Senensis had them more authentickly; but had promis’d the most perfect of them all to the Lay-Man they had converted, and suborn’d to act this Farce, and had abus’d the Body of the Lord, to carry on the Imposture, and afterwards with Clubs and Poisons. And in the last Place they say, that this Project was not carry’d on by one University only, but by all the Heads of the whole Order.

Th.

Let that be as it will, it was not without Reason that God said, Touch not mine Anointed.

Ph.

I want to hear what is to come.

Th.

The sixth Revelation is behind, in which the Lord sware to him, that those that were Favourers of the Seraphick Order, how wickedly soever they liv’d, should one Time or other obtain Mercy from the Lord, and end their wicked Life with a blessed Death.

Ph.

What if they should be caught and kill’d in the very Act of Adultery?

Th.

What God has promis’d, cannot fail of being perform’d.

Ph.

But what is it that they interpret Favour and Good-Will by?

Th.

Oh! do you doubt of that? He that gives them Presents, that cloaths them, furnishes their Kitchen, he loves them long ago.

Ph.

But does he not love those that give them Admonitions and Instructions?

Th.

They have enough of those Things at Home; and it is their Profession to bestow these Benefits on other Persons, and not to receive them from them.

Ph.

Then the Lord has promis’d more to the Disciples of St. Francis, than he has to his own. He indeed suffers it to be imputed to him, if any Thing be done for his Sake to a Christian, but he never promis’d Salvation to such as live wickedly.

Th.

That’s no Wonder, my Friend; for the transcendent Power of the Gospel is reserv’d for this Order. But you shall now hear the seventh and last Revelation.

Ph.

I am ready to hear it.

Th.

The Lord sware to him, that none should make an ill End, who dy’d in a Franciscan’s Habit.

Ph.

But what is it, that you call an ill End?

Th.

Why, he makes an ill End, that when his Soul leaves the Body, it goes down directly into Hell without any Redemption.

Ph.

But what then, does not the Habit deliver from the Fire of Purgatory?

Th.

No, unless a Person dies in it upon St. Francis’s Day. But don’t you think it is a great Thing to be freed from Hell?

Ph.

Yes, I think it is the greatest of all. But what must we think of those Persons, who are put into the Habit, after they are dead, and don’t actually die in it?

Th.

If they desire it in their Life-Time, the Will is taken for the Deed.

Ph.

When I was at Antwerp, I was present in the Company of the Relations of a Woman, that was just giving up the Ghost. There was a Franciscan by, a very reverend Man, who observing the Woman to yawn, put one of her Arms into the Sleeve of his Garment, so that it cover’d that Arm, and Part of the Shoulder; and there was a Dispute rais’d upon it, whether the whole Woman should be safe from the Gates of Hell, or that Part only which had been cover’d.

Th.

Why, the whole Woman was secur’d; as it is in Baptism, but Part of the Person is dip’d in the Water, but the whole Person is made a Christian.

Ph.

It is wonderful what a Dread the Devils have of this Habit.

Th.

They dread it more than they do the Cross of Christ. When Eusebius was carry’d to the Grave, I saw, and so did p. 293 many others besides me, Swarms of black Devils, like Flies, buzzing about the Body, and striking at it; but not one of them durst to touch it.

Ph.

But in the mean Time, his Face, his Hands, and his Feet were in Danger, because they were bare.

Th.

As a Snake will not come near the Shadow of an Ash, let it spread ever so far; so the Devils are sensible of the Venom of the holy Garment at a great Distance.

Ph.

Why then, I believe, such Bodies do not putrify; if they do, the Worms have more Courage than the Devils.

Th.

What you say is very probable.

Ph.

How happy are the Lice, which always live in that holy Garment! But when the Garment is going to the Grave, what becomes of the Soul?

Th.

Why the Soul carries away with it the Influence of the Garment, and renders it secure; so that a great many will not allow, that any of that Order do go at all to Purgatory.

Ph.

In Truth, if this Revelation were true, I would esteem it at an higher Rate than that of St. John; for this shews us an easy and a ready Way, without Labour, Trouble, or Repentance, to escape eternal Misery, and yet to live all our Life long merrily.

Th.

It is so.

Ph.

From henceforth I shall leave off admiring at the great Deference that so many pay to the Seraphick Fraternity: But I stand in great Admiration that any Man should dare to open his Mouth against them.

Th.

You may observe where-ever you see them, that they are Persons given over to a reprobate Mind, and blinded in their Wickedness.

Ph.

I will for the future be more cautious than I have been, and take Care to die in a Franciscan Habit. But there are some risen up in our Age who will have it, that a Man is justified only by Faith, without the Help of good Works; but it is the greatest Privilege in the World to be saved by a Garment without Faith.

Don’t mistake me, Philecous; I don’t say simply without Faith, but with this Faith of believing, that the Things I have told you were promised by our Saviour to the Patriarch St. Francis.

Ph.

But will this Garment save a Turk?

Th.

It would save the Devil himself, if he would but suffer it to be put on him, and could but believe this Revelation.

Ph.

Well, thou hast won me for ever; but I have a Scruple or two more, that I would desire you to clear up for me.

Th.

Let me hear them.

Ph.

I have heard that St. Francis has said his Order was of evangelical Institution.

Th.

True.

Ph.

Now I thought that all Christians had profess’d the Rule of the Gospel; but if the Franciscan’s Order be a Gospel one, then all Christians ought to be Franciscans, and Christ himself, his Apostles, and the Virgin-Mother at the Head of them.

Th.

It would be so indeed, unless St. Francis had added some Things to the Gospel of Christ.

Ph.

What Things are they?

Th.

An Ash-colour’d Garment, an Hempen Girdle, and naked Feet.

Ph.

Well then, by these Marks we may know an evangelical Christian from a Franciscan, may we?

Th.

But they differ too in the Point of touching Money.

Ph.

But, as I am inform’d, St. Francis forbids the receiving of it, not the touching of it; but the Owner, or the Proctor, the Creditor, the Heir, or the Proxy does commonly receive it; and tho’ he draws it over with his Glove on, and does not touch it, nevertheless he is said to receive it. Whence then came this new Interpretation, that not to receive it, is not to touch it?

Th.

This was the Interpretation of Pope Benedict.

Ph.

But not as a Pope, but only as a Franciscan. And then again, do not the most strict of the Order take Money in a Clout, when it is given them in their Pilgrimages?

Th.

They do in a Case of Necessity.

Ph.

But a Man should rather die than violate so superevangelical a Rule. And then, do they not receive Money every-where by their Officers?

Th.

Why should they not, and that thousands and thousands too, as they do frequently?

Ph.

But the Rule says, not by themselves, nor by any Body else.

Th.

Well, but they don’t touch it.

Ph.

O ridiculous! if the Touch be impious, they touch it by others.

Th.

But that is the Act and Deed of the Proctors, not their own.

Ph.

Is it not so? Let him try it that has a Mind to it.

Th.

We never read that Christ touch’d Money.

Ph.

Suppose it, tho’ it is very probable that, when he was a Youth, he might buy Oil, and Vinegar, and Salads for his Parents: But Peter and Paul, without all Controversy, touch’d it. The Virtue consists in the Contempt of Money, and not in the not touching of it. It is much more dangerous to touch Wine, than to touch Money; why are they not afraid of that?

Th.

Because St. Francis did not forbid it.

Ph.

Do they not readily enough offer their Hands, which they keep soft with Idleness, and white with Washes, to pretty Wenches? but, bless me! if you offer them a Piece of Money to look upon, and see if it be good, how do they start back and cross themselves! Is not this an evangelical Nicety? In Truth, I believe St. Francis, illiterate as he was, was never so silly as to have absolutely forbid all touching of Money. And if that were his Opinion, to how great a Danger did he expose his Followers, in commanding them to go barefoot? for it is scarce possible, but that one Time or another, they might unawares tread upon Money lying on the Ground.

Th.

Well, but then they don’t touch it with their Hands.

Ph.

Why, pray is not the Sense of touching common to the whole Body?

Th.

But in Case any such Thing should fall out, they do not officiate after it till they have been at Confession.

Ph.

’Tis conscientiously done.

Th.

But without cavilling, I’ll tell you how it is; Money ever was, and ever will be, the Occasion of very great Evils to many Persons.

Ph.

I allow it: But then, on the other Hand, it is an Instrument of as much good to others. I find the inordinate Love of Money to be condemned; but I nowhere find Money itself to be so.

Th.

You say very well; but that we may be kept at greater Distance from the Disease of Covetousness, we are forbid to touch Money, as we are forbid by the Gospel to swear at all, that we may be kept from Perjury.

Ph.

Why then is not the Sight of Money forbidden too?

Th.

Because it is easier to govern our Hands than Eyes.

Ph.

And yet Death itself entred into the World at those Windows.

Th.

And therefore your true Franciscans pull their Cowls over their Eye-Brows, and walk with their Eyes cover’d and fixt upon the Ground, that they may see nothing but their Way, just like Carriers Horses, that have Winkers on each Side of their Head-Geer, that they may see nothing but what is before them, and at their Feet.

Ph.

But tell me, is it true as I hear, that they are forbidden by their Order to receive any Indulgences from the Pope?

Th.

They are so.

Ph.

But as I am inform’d, there are no Men in the World that have more of them than they have; so that they are allow’d either to poison, or bury alive, those that they themselves have condemn’d, without any Danger of being called to Account for it.

Th.

What you have heard is no Fiction; for I was told once by a Polander, and a Man of Credit too, that he, having gotten drunk, fell fast asleep in the Franciscans Church, in one of the Corners where the Women sit to make their Confessions p. 297 thro’ a Lattice; and being awak’d by the singing of their Nocturns, according to Custom, he did not dare to discover himself: and when the Office was over, the whole Fraternity went down into the Vault, where there was a large deep Grave ready made, and there stood two young Men with their Hands tied behind them: There was a Sermon preach’d in Praise of Obedience, and a Promise of God’s Pardon for all their Sins, and some Hope given them that God would incline the Minds of the Brotherhood to Mercy, if they would voluntarily go down into the Grave and lay themselves upon their Backs there. They did so, and as soon as they were down, the Ladders were drawn up, and the Brethren all together flung the Dirt upon them.

Ph.

Well, but did the Polander say nothing all the while?

Th.

No, not a Word; he was afraid, if he had discover’d himself, he should have made the third Person.

Ph.

But can they justify this?

Th.

Yes, they may as often as the Honour of the Order is call’d in Question; for he, as soon as he had made his Escape, told what he had seen in all the Companies he came into, to the great Scandal of the whole Seraphick Order. And had it not been better now that this Man had been buried alive?

Ph.

It may be it had; but omitting these Niceties, how comes it that when their Patriarch has ordered them to go barefoot, they now go commonly half-shod?

Th.

This Injunction was moderated for two Reasons, the one for Fear they should tread upon Money unawares; the other lest Cold, or Thorns, or Snakes, or Flint, or any such Thing should hurt them, since they are oblig’d to travel barefoot all the World over: But however that that might be, and the Dignity of the Rule preserved inviolable, the Slashes in the Shoes shew the naked Foot, and so fulfil the Rule by Synecdoche.

Ph.

They value themselves much upon their professing evangelical Perfection, which, they say, consists in evangelical Precepts; but about those Precepts the Learned p. 298 themselves have hot Disputes. And in every State of Life there is Room for evangelical Perfection. But now which do you reckon the most perfect of the Gospel Precepts?

Th.

I believe that you find in the fifth of Matthew which ends thus, Love your Enemies, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those that persecute you and revile you, that you may be the Children of your Father who is in Heaven, who maketh his Sun to shine upon the good and the evil, and sendeth Rain upon the just and the unjust; therefore be ye perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Ph.

You have answer’d very pertinently; but then our Father is rich and munificent to all People, asking nothing of any Man.

Th.

And so are they bountiful too, but it is of spiritual Things, of Prayers and good Works, in which they are very rich.

Ph.

I would there were among them more Examples of that evangelical Charity, that returns Blessings for Cursings, and Good for Evil. What is the Meaning of that celebrated Saying of Pope Alexander, ’Tis safer to affront the most powerful Prince, than any one single Franciscan or Dominican?

Th.

It is lawful to avenge an Injury offer’d to the Dignity of the Order; and what is done to the least of them, is done to the whole Order.

Ph.

But why not rather the Good that is done to one, is done to the whole Order? And why shall not an Injury done to one Christian engage all Christendom in Revenge? Why did not St. Paul, when he was beaten and stoned, call for Succour against the Enemies of his apostolical Character? Now, if according to the Saying of our Saviour, it be more blessed to give than receive, certainly he that lives and teaches well, and gives of his own to those that are in Want, is much perfecter than he that is only on the receiving Hand; or otherwise St. Paul’s Boast of preaching the Gospel gratis is vain and idle. It seems to me to be the best Proof of an evangelical Disposition, that Persons are not angry when reproached, and have a Christian Charity for those that ill deserve it. What great Matter is it for a Man to relinquish something of his own, to live better upon that which is another Body’s, and to reserve to himself a Desire of Revenge? The World is full every where of this half-shod, rope-girt Sort of People; but there is scarce one of them to be found that presses after that which Christ calls Perfection, and the Apostles constantly practised.

Th.

I am no Stranger to the Stories that wicked Persons tell of them; but for my own Part, where ever I see the sacred Habit, I think the Angels of God are by; and count that a happy House, whose Threshold is most worn by their Feet.

Ph.

And I am of Opinion, that Women are no where more fruitful than where these Men are most familiar. But I beg St. Francis’s Pardon, Theotimus, for being so much out of the Way. I really took their Habit to be no more than a Garment, nor one Jot better than a Sailor’s Jacket, or a Shoemaker’s Coat, setting aside the Holiness of the Person that wears it, as the Touch of our Saviour’s Garment cured the Woman with the bloody Issue. Or else I could not satisfy myself whether I was to thank the Weaver, or the Taylor, for the Virtue of it.

Th.

Without Doubt he that gives the Form gives the Virtue.

Ph.

Well then, for Time to come I’ll live more merrily, and not torment myself with the Fear of Hell, the Tediousness of Confession, or the Torment of Repentance.

William Warham the Archbishop28

Erasmus’ best friend and patron. Wareham appointed him to the living of Aldington, in Kent, prevailing over the scholar’s scruples against accepting the benefice (while unable to discharge parochial duties from ignorance of the language), by providing otherwise for the cure of souls, and charging it with an annual pension of 100 crowns to Erasmus. The archbishop was a man of humour and of most amiable social qualities, as well as industrious in his official duties; and appears to have conceived a very warm affection for Erasmus. He made him other large presents of money. In his letters, our scholar has done justice to the character of his friend. To Leo X. he describes him as “a person who for learning, piety, episcopal virtue, and desire to promote literature, was not equalled in England.” To the Abbot of St. Bertin: “Of those who are kind to me, I place Wareham, the Archbishop of Canterbury, in the first place. What genius! What copiousness! What vivacity! What facility in the most complicated discussions! What erudition! What politeness! What gentleness! From Wareham none ever parted in sorrow. This conduct would do honour to a monarch. With all these qualities, how great is Wareham’s humility, how edifying his modesty! He alone is ignorant of his eminence; no one is more faithful or more constant in friendship.” Wareham, on his part, said to Erasmus: “I have received from you that immortality which emperors and kings cannot bestow.”

The Seraphick Funeral281

St. Francis of Assisi, founder of the order of Franciscans, was termed the Seraphic Saint, and the name was transferred to his followers. It implies zeal and ardour, in allusion to the association of the seraphs with fire. Isa. vi.

A Snake will not come near the Shadow of an Ash293

Like the rest of Erasmus’ natural history, taken from Pliny. xvi. 13.

The Slashes in the Shoes shew the naked Foot, and so fulfil the Rule by Synecdoche297

Synecdoche is the rhetorical figure by which a part is put for the whole, or the whole for a part. Quintilian Inst., viii., 6, 19.

That celebrated saying of Pope Alexander, ’Tis safer to affront the most powerful Prince, than any one single Franciscan or Dominican298

Alexander VI. (Roderic Borgia) died 1503, the infamous father of an infamous family. See p. 249.