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Front Page Titles (by Subject) BOOK II [ ] - The Complete Poetical Works of Alexander Pope
BOOK II [ ] - Alexander Pope, The Complete Poetical Works of Alexander Pope [1903]Edition used:The Complete Poetical Works of Alexander Pope. Cambridge Edition, ed. Henry W. Boynton (Boston and New York: Houghton, Mifflin and Co., 1903).
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- Editor’s Note
- Biographical Sketch
- Early Poems
- Ode On Solitude
- A Paraphrase (on Thomas À Kempis, L. III. C. 2)
- To the Author of a Poem Entitled Successio [ ]
- The First Book of Statius’s Thebais Translated In the Year 1703
- Imitations of English Poets
- Chaucer
- Spenser [ ] the Alley
- Waller On a Lady Singing to Her Lute
- Cowley the Garden
- Weeping
- Earl of Rochester On Silence
- Earl of Dorset Artemisia
- Dr. Swift the Happy Life of a Country Parson
- Pastorals
- Discourse On Pastoral Poetry
- I: Spring; Or, Damon [ ] to Sir William Trumbull
- II: Summer; Or, Alexis to Dr. Garth
- III: Autumn; Or, Hylas and Ægon [ ] to Mr. Wycherley
- IV: Winter; Or, Daphne [ ] to the Memory of Mrs. Tempest
- Windsor Forest [ ] to the Right Hon. George Lord Lansdown
- Paraphrases From Chaucer
- January and May: Or, the Merchant’s Tale
- The Wife of Bath Her Prologue
- The Temple of Fame [ ]
- Translations From Ovid
- Sappho to Phaon From the Fifteenth of Ovid’s Epistles
- The Fable of Dryope [ ] From the Ninth Book of Ovid’s Metamorphoses
- Vertumnus and Pomona From the Fourteenth Book of Ovid’s Metamorphoses
- An Essay On Criticism [ ]
- Part I
- Part Ii
- Part Iii
- Poems Written Between 1708 and 1712
- Ode For Music On St. Cecilia’s Day
- Argus
- The Balance of Europe
- The Translator
- On Mrs. Tofts, a Famous Opera-singer
- Epistle to Mrs. Blount, With the Works of Voiture.
- The Dying Christian to His Soul
- Epistle to Mr. Jervas [ ] With Dryden’s Translation of Fresnoy’s Art of Painting
- Impromptu to Lady Winchilsea Occasioned By Four Satirical Verses On Women Wits, In the Rape of the Lock
- Elegy to the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady
- Messiah
- The Rape of the Lock an Heroi-comical Poem [ ]
- Canto I
- Canto Ii
- Canto Iii
- Canto Iv
- Canto V
- Poems Written Between 1713 and 1717
- Prologue to Mr. Addison’s Cato
- Epilogue to Mr. Rowe’s Jane Shore Designed For Mrs. Oldfield
- To a Lady, With the Temple of Fame
- Upon the Duke of Marlborough’s House At Woodstock
- Lines to Lord Bathurst
- Macer [ ] a Character
- Epistle to Mrs. Teresa Blount On Her Leaving the Town After the Coronation
- Lines Occasioned By Some Verses of His Grace the Duke of Buckingham
- A Farewell to London [ ] In the Year 1715
- Imitation of Martial
- Imitation of Tibullus
- The Basset-table [ ] an Eclogue
- Epigram On the Toasts of the Kit-cat Club [ ] Anno 1716
- The Challenge a Court Ballad
- The Looking-glass On Mrs. Pulteney
- Prologue, Designed For Mr. D’urfey’s Last Play
- Prologue to the ‘three Hours After Marriage’
- Prayer of Brutus From Geoffrey of Monmouth
- To Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
- Extemporaneous Lines On a Portrait of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, Painted By Kneller
- Eloisa to Abelard [ ]
- Poems Written Between 1718 and 1727
- An Inscription Upon a Punch-bowl In the South Sea Year, For a Club: Chased With Jupiter Placing Callisto In the Skies, and Europa With the Bull
- Epistle to James Craggs, Esq. Secretary of State
- A Dialogue
- Verses to Mr. C. St. James’s Palace, London, Oct. 22
- To Mr. Gay Who Had Congratulated Pope On Finishing His House and Gardens
- On Drawings of the Statues of Apollo, Venus, and Hercules Made For Pope By Sir Godfrey Kneller
- Epistle to Robert Earl of Oxford and Mortimer Prefixed to Parnell’s Poems
- Two Choruses to the Tragedy of Brutus
- To Mrs. M. B. On Her Birthday
- Answer to the Following Question of Mrs. Howe
- On a Certain Lady At Court
- To Mr. John Moore Author of the Celebrated Worm-powder
- The Curll Miscellanies Umbra
- Poems Suggested By Gulliver
- Later Poems
- On Certain Ladies
- Celia
- Prologue to a Play For Mr. Dennis’s Benefit, In 1733, When He Was Old, Blind, and In Great Distress, a Little Before His Death
- Song, By a Person of Quality Written In the Year 1733
- Verses Left By Mr. Pope On His Lying In the Same Bed Which Wilmot, the Celebrated Earl of Rochester, Slept In At Adderbury, Then Belonging to the Duke of Argyle, July 9th, 1739
- On His Grotto At Twickenham Composed of Marbles, Spars, Gems, Ores, and Minerals
- On Receiving From the Right Hon. the Lady Frances Shirley a Standish and Two Pens
- On Beaufort House Gate At Chiswick
- To Mr. Thomas Southern On His Birthday, 1742
- Epigram
- 1740: A Poem [ ]
- Poems of Uncertain Date
- To Erinna
- Lines Written In Windsor Forest
- Verbatim From Boileau First Published By Warburton In 1751
- Lines On Swift’s Ancestors
- On Seeing the Ladies At Crux Easton Walk In the Woods By the Grotto Extempore By Mr. Pope
- Inscription On a Grotto, the Work of Nine Ladies
- To the Right Hon. the Earl of Oxford Upon a Piece of News In Mist [mist’s Journal] That the Rev. Mr. W. Refused to Write Against Mr. Pope Because His Best Patron Had a Friendship For the Said Pope
- Epigrams and Epitaphs
- On a Picture of Queen Caroline Drawn By Lady Burlington
- Epigram Engraved On the Collar of a Dog Which I Gave to His Royal Highness
- Lines Written In Evelyn’s Book On Coins
- From the Grub-street Journal
- I: Epigram
- II: Epigram
- III: Mr. J. M. S[myth]e Catechised On His One Epistle to Mr. Pope
- IV: Epigram On Mr. M[oo]re’s Going to Law With Mr. Giliver: Inscribed to Attorney Tibbald
- V: Epigram
- VI: Epitaph On James Moore-smythe
- VII: A Question By Anonymous
- VIII: Epigram
- IX: Epigram
- Epitaphs
- On Charles Earl of Dorset In the Church of Withyam, Sussex
- On Sir William Trumbull One of the Principal Secretaries of State to King William Iii
- On the Hon. Simon Harcourt Only Son of the Lord Chancellor Harcourt
- On James Craggs, Esq. In Westminster Abbey
- On Mr. Rowe In Westminster Abbey
- On Mrs. Corbet Who Died of a Cancer In Her Breast
- On the Monument of the Hon. R. Digby and of His Sister Mary Erected By Their Father, Lord Digby, In the Church of Sherborne, In Dorsetshire, 1727.
- On Sir Godfrey Kneller In Westminster Abbey, 1723
- On General Henry Withers In Westminster Abbey, 1729
- On Mr. Elijah Fenton At Easthamstead, Berks, 1729
- On Mr. Gay In Westminster Abbey, 1730
- Intended For Sir Isaac Newton In Westminster Abbey
- On Dr. Francis Atterbury Bishop of Rochester, Who Died In Exile At Paris, 1732
- On Edmund Duke of Buckingham Who Died In the Nineteenth Year of His Age, 1735
- For One Who Would Not Be Buried In Westminster Abbey
- Another On the Same
- On Two Lovers Struck Dead By Lightning
- Epitaph
- An Essay On Man [ ]
- In Four Epistles to Lord Bolingbroke
- The Design
- Epistle I of the Nature and State of Man, With Respect to the Universe
- Epistle Ii of the Nature and State of Man With Respect to Himself As an Individual
- Epistle Iii of the Nature and State of Man With Respect to Society
- Epistle Iv of the Nature and State of Man, With Respect to Happiness
- Moral Essays
- Advertisement
- Epistle I [ ] to Sir Richard Temple, Lord Cobham
- Epistle Ii [ ] to a Lady of the Characters of Women
- Epistle Iii [ ] to Allen, Lord Bathurst
- Epistle IV: To Richard Boyle, Earl of Burlington of the Use of Riches
- Epistle V: To Mr. Addison Occasioned By His Dialogues On Medals
- Universal Prayer Deo Opt. Max.
- Satires
- Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot [ ] Being the Prologue to the Satires
- Satires, Epistles, and Odes of Horace Imitated [ ]
- Advertisement
- The First Satire of the Second Book of Horace
- The Second Satire of the Second Book of Horace [ ]
- The First Epistle of the First Book of Horace [ ]
- The Sixth Epistle of the First Book of Horace [ ]
- The First Epistle of the Second Book of Horace [ ]
- The Second Epistle of the Second Book of Horace [ ]
- Satires of Dr. John Donne, Dean of St. Paul’s, Versified [ ]
- Epilogue to the Satires [ ] In Two Dialogues. Written In 1738
- The Sixth Satire of the Second Book of Horace [ ]
- The Seventh Epistle of the First Book of Horace [ ]
- The First Ode of the Fourth Book of Horace [ ]
- The Ninth Ode of the Fourth Book of Horace
- The Dunciad In Four Books
- Martinus Scriblerus of the Poem
- Preface Prefixed to the Five First Imperfect Editions of the Dunciad, In Three Books, Printed At Dublin and London, In Octavo and Duodecimo, 1727.
- The Publisher to the Reader
- A Letter to the Publisher Occasioned By the First Correct Edition of the Dunciad
- Advertisement to the First Edition With Notes, Quarto, 1729
- Advertisement to the First Edition of the Fourth Book of the Dunciad, When Printed Separately In the Year 1742
- Advertisement to the Complete Edition of 1743
- The Dunciad [ ] to Dr. Jonathan Swift
- Book I
- Book Ii [ ]
- Book Iii [ ]
- Book Iv [ ]
- Translations From Homer the Iliad
- Pope’s Preface
- Book I: The Contention of Achilles and Agamemnon
- Book II: The Trial of the Army and Catalogue of the Forces
- Book III: The Duel of Menelaus and Paris
- Book IV: The Breach of the Truce, and the First Battle
- Book V: The Acts of Diomed
- Book VI: The Episodes of Glaucus and Diomed, and of Hector and Andromache
- Book VII: The Single Combat of Hector and Ajax
- Book VIII: The Second Battle, and the Distress of the Greeks
- Book IX: The Embassy to Achilles
- Book X: The Night Adventure of Diomede and Ulysses
- Book XI: The Third Battle, and the Acts of Agamemnon
- Book XII: The Battle At the Grecian Wall
- Book XIII: The Fourth Battle Continued, In Which Neptune Assists the Greeks. the Acts of Idomeneus
- Book XIV: Juno Deceives Jupiter By the Girdle of Venus
- Book XV: The Fifth Battle, At the Ships; and the Acts of Ajax
- Book XVI: The Sixth Battle: the Acts and Death of Patroclus
- Book XVII: The Seventh Battle, For the Body of Patroclus.—the Acts of Menelaus
- Book XVIII: The Grief of Achilles, and New Armour Made Him By Vulcan
- Book XIX: The Reconciliation of Achilles and Agamemnon
- Book XX: The Battle of the Gods, and the Acts of Achilles
- Book XXI: The Battle In the River Scamander
- Book XXII: The Death of Hector
- Book XXIII: Funeral Games In Honour of Patroclus
- Book XXIV: The Redemption of the Body of Hector
- Pope’s Concluding Note.
- The Odyssey
- Book III: The Interview of Telemachus and Nestor
- Book V: The Departure of Ulysses From Calypso
- Book VII: The Court of AlcinoÜs
- Book IX: The Adventures of the Cicons, Lotophagi, and Cyclops
- Book X: Adventures With Æolus, the LÆstrygons, and Circe
- Book XIII: The Arrival of Ulysses In Ithaca
- Book XIV: The Conversation With EumÆus
- Book XV: The Return of Telemachus
- Book XVII: Book XXI: The Bending of Ulysses’ Bow
- Book XXII: The Death of the Suitors
- Book XXIV: Postscript By Pope
- Appendix
- A. a Glossary of Names of Pope’s Contemporaries Mentioned In the Poems.
- Bibliographical Note
BOOK II[ ]
The King being proclaimed, the solemnity is graced with public games and sports of various kinds; not instituted by the Hero, as by Æneas in Virgil, but for greater honour by the Goddess in person (in like manner as the games Pythia, Isthmia, &c. were anciently said to be ordained by the Gods, and as Thetis herself appearing, according to Homer, Odyssey xxiv. proposed the prizes in honour of her son Achilles). Hither flock the Poets and Critics, attended, as is but just, with their Patrons and Booksellers. The Goddess is first pleased, for her disport, to propose games to the Booksellers, and setteth up the phantom of a Poet, which they contend to overtake. The Races described, with their divers accidents. Next, the game for a Poetess. Then follow the exercises for the Poets, of tickling, vociferating, diving; the first holds forth the arts and practices of Dedicators, the second of Disputants and fustian Poets, the third of profound, dark, and dirty Party-writers. Lastly, for the Critics the Goddess proposes (with great propriety) an exercise, not of their parts, but their patience, in hearing the works of two voluminous authors, the one in verse and the other in prose, deliberately read, without sleeping; the various effects of which, with the several degrees and manners of their operation, are here set forth, till the whole number, not of Critics only, but of spectators, actors, and all present, fall fast asleep; which naturally and necessarily ends the games.
- High on a gorgeous seat, that far outshone
- Henley’s gilt tub or Fleckno’s Irish throne,
- Or that whereon her Curlls the public pours,
- All bounteous, fragrant grains and golden showers,
- Great Cibber sate; the proud Parnassian sneer,
- The conscious simper, and the jealous leer,
- Mix on his look: all eyes direct their rays
- On him, and crowds turn coxcombs as they gaze.
- His peers shine round him with reflected grace,
- New-edge their dulness, and new-bronze their face.10
- So from the sun’s broad beam, in shallow urns,
- Heav’n’s twinkling sparks draw light, and point their horns.
- Not with more glee, by hands pontific crown’d,
- With scarlet hats wide-waving circled round,
- Rome, in her capitol saw Querno sit,
- Throned on sev’n hills, the Antichrist of wit.
- And now the Queen, to glad her sons, proclaims
- By herald hawkers, high heroic games.
- They summon all her race: an endless band
- Pours forth, and leaves unpeopled half the land;20
- A motley mixture! in long wigs, in bags,
- In silks, in crapes, in Garters, and in Rags,
- From drawing rooms, from colleges, from garrets,
- On horse, on foot, in hacks, and gilded chariots;
- All who true Dunces in her cause appear’d,
- And all who knew those Dunces to reward.
- Amid that area wide they took their stand,
- Where the tall Maypole once o’erlook’d the Strand,
- But now (so Anne and Piety ordain)
- A Church collects the saints of Drury-lane.
- With Authors, Stationers obey’d the call31
- (The field of glory is a field for all);
- Glory and gain th’ industrious tribe provoke,
- And gentle Dulness ever loves a joke.
- A poet’s form she placed before their eyes,
- And bade the nimblest racer seize the prize;
- No meagre, Muse-rid Mope, adust and thin,
- In a dun nightgown of his own loose skin,
- But such a bulk as no twelve bards could raise,
- Twelve starveling bards of these degen’rate days.40
- All as a partridge plump, full fed and fair,
- She form’d this image of well-bodied air;
- With pert flat eyes she window’d well its head,
- A brain of Feathers, and a heart of Lead;
- And empty words she gave, and sounding strain,
- But senseless, lifeless! idol void and vain!
- Never was dash’d out, at one lucky hit,
- A Fool so just a copy of a Wit;
- So like, that Critics said, and Courtiers swore,
- A Wit it was, and call’d the phantom Moore.50
- All gaze with ardour: some a poet’s name,
- Others a swordknot and laced suit inflame.
- But lofty Lintot in the circle rose:
- ‘This prize is mine, who tempt it are my foes;
- With me began this genius, and shall end.’
- He spoke; and who with Lintot shall contend?
- Fear held them mute. Alone untaught to fear,
- Stood dauntless Curll! ‘Behold that rival here!
- The race by vigour, not by vaunts, is won;
- So take the hindmost, Hell,’ he said, and run.60
- Swift as a bard the bailiff leaves behind,
- He left huge Lintot, and outstript the wind.
- As when a dabchick waddles thro’ the copse
- On feet and wings, and flies, and wades, and hops;
- So lab’ring on, with shoulders, hands, and head,
- Wide as a windmill all his figure spread,
- With arms expanded Bernard rows his state,
- And left-legg’d Jacob seems to emulate.
- Full in the middle way there stood a lake,
- Which Curll’s Corinna chanced that morn to make70
- (Such was her wont, at early dawn to drop
- Her ev’ning cates before his neighbour’s shop):
- Here fortuned Curll to slide; loud shout the band,
- And ‘Bernard! Bernard!’ rings thro’ all the Strand.
- Obscene with filth the miscreant lies bewray’d,
- Fall’n in the plash his wickedness had laid:
- Then first (if Poets aught of truth declare)
- The caitiff Vaticide conceiv’d a prayer.
- A place there is betwixt earth, air, and seas,
- Where, from ambrosia, Jove retires for ease.
- There in his seat two spacious vents appear,
- On this he sits, to that he leans his ear,
- And hears the various vows of fond Mankind;
- Some beg an eastern, some a western wind:
- All vain petitions, mounting to the sky,
- With reams abundant this abode supply:90
- Amused he reads, and then returns the bills,
- Sign’d with that ichor which from Gods distils.
- In office here fair Cloacina stands,
- And ministers to Jove with purest hands.
- Forth from the heap she pick’d her vot’ry’s prayer,
- And placed it next him, a distinction rare!
- Oft had the Goddess heard her servant’s call,
- From her black grottos near the temple wall,
- List’ning delighted to the jest unclean
- Of linkboys vile, and watermen obscene;100
- Where as he fish’d her nether realms for wit,
- She oft had favour’d him, and favours yet.
- Renew’d by ordure’s sympathetic force,
- As oil’d with magic juices for the course,
- Vig’rous he rises; from th’ effluvia strong;
- Imbibes new life, and scours and stinks along;
- Repasses Lintot, vindicates the race,
- Nor heeds the brown dishonours of his face.
- And now the victor stretch’d his eager hand
- Where the tall Nothing stood, or seem’d to stand;110
- A shapeless shade, it melted from his sight,
- Like forms in clouds, or visions of the night.
- To seize his papers, Curll, was next thy care;
- His papers light, fly diverse, toss’d in air;
- Songs, Sonnets, Epigrams, the winds uplift,
- And whisk ’em back to Evans, Young, and Swift.
- Th’ embroider’d suit at least he deem’d his prey;
- That suit an unpaid tailor snatch’d away.
- No rag, no scrap, of all the Beau or Wit,
- That once so flutter’d and that once so writ.120
- Heav’n rings with laughter: of the laughter vain,
- Dulness, good Queen, repeats the jest again.
- Three wicked imps of her own Grub-street choir,
- She deck’d like Congreve, Addison, and Prior;
- Mears, Warner, Wilkins , run; delusive thought!
- Breval, Bond, Bezaleel , the varlets caught.
- Curll stretches after Gay, but Gay is gone,
- He grasps an empty Joseph for a John:
- So Proteus, hunted in a nobler shape,
- Became, when seized, a puppy or an ape.
- To him the Goddess: ‘Son! thy grief lay down,131
- And turn this whole illusion on the town.
- As the sage dame, experienced in her trade,
- By names of toasts retails each batter’d jade
- (Whence hapless Monsieur much complains at Paris
- Of wrongs from Duchesses and Lady Maries);
- Be thine, my stationer! this magic gift;
- Cook shall be Prior ; and Concanen Swift;
- So shall each hostile name become our own,
- And we, too, boast our Garth and Addison.’
- With that she gave him (piteous of his case,141
- Yet smiling at his rueful length of face)
- A shaggy tap’stry, worthy to be spread
- On Codrus’ old, or Dunton’s modern bed;
- Instructive work! whose wry-mouth’d portraiture
- Display’d the fates her confessors endure.
- Earless on high stood unabash’d De Foe,
- And Tutchin flagrant from the scourge below:
- There Ridpath, Roper , cudgell’d might ye view,
- The very worsted still look’d black and blue:150
- Himself among the storied chiefs he spies,
- As, from the blanket, high in air he flies,
- And, ‘Oh! (he cried) what street, what lane but knows
- Our purgings, pumpings, blanketings and blows?
- In every loom our labours shall be seen,
- And the fresh vomit run for ever green!’
- See in the circle next Eliza placed,
- Two babes of love close clinging to her waist;
- Fair as before her works she stands confess’d,
- In flowers and pearls by bounteous Kirkall dress’d.160
- The Goddess then: ‘Who best can send on high
- The salient spout, far-streaming to the sky,
- His be yon Juno of majestic size,
- With cow-like udders, and with ox-like eyes.
- This China Jordan let the chief o’ercome
- Replenish, not ingloriously, at home.’
- Osborne and Curll accept the glorious strife
- (Tho’ this his son dissuades, and that his wife);
- One on his manly confidence relies,
- One on his vigour and superior size.170
- First Osborne lean’d against his letter’d post;
- It rose, and labour’d to a curve at most:
- So Jove’s bright bow displays its wat’ry round
- (Sure sign that no spectator shall be drown’d).
- A second effort brought but new disgrace,
- The wild mæander wash’d the Artist’s face:
- Thus the small jet, which hasty hands unlock,
- Spirts in the gard’ner’s eyes who turns the cock.
- Not so from shameless Curll; impetuous spread
- The stream, and smoking flourish’d o’er his head:180
- So (famed like thee for turbulence and horns)
- Eridanus his humble fountain scorns;
- Thro’ half the heav’ns he pours th’ exalted urn;
- His rapid waters in their passage burn.
- Swift as it mounts, all follow with their eyes;
- Still happy Impudence obtains the prize.
- Thou triumph’st, victor of the high-wrought day,
- And the pleas’d dame, soft smiling, lead’st away.
- Osborne, thro’ perfect modesty o’ercome,
- Crown’d with the Jordan, walks contented home.190
- But now for Authors nobler palms remain;
- Room for my Lord! three jockeys in his train;
- Six huntsmen with a shout precede his chair:
- He grins, and looks broad nonsense with a stare.
- His honour’s meaning Dulness thus exprest,
- ‘He wins this patron who can tickle best.’
- He chinks his purse, and takes his seat of state;
- With ready quills the dedicators wait;
- Now at his head the dext’rous task commence,199
- And, instant, fancy feels th’ imputed sense;
- Now gentle touches wanton o’er his face,
- He struts Adonis, and affects grimace;
- Rolli the feather to his ear conveys,
- Then his nice taste directs our operas;
- Bentley his mouth with classic flatt’ry opes,
- And the puff’d orator bursts out in tropes.
- But Welsted most the poet’s healing balm
- Strives to extract from his soft, giving palm.
- Unlucky Welsted! thy unfeeling master,
- The more thou ticklest, gripes his fist the faster.210
- While thus each hand promotes the pleasing pain,
- And quick sensations skip from vein to vein,
- A youth unknown to Phœbus, in despair,
- Puts his last refuge all in Heav’n and prayer.
- What force have pious vows! The Queen of Love
- Her sister sends, her vot’ress from above.
- As taught by Venus, Paris learn’d the art
- To touch Achilles’ only tender part;
- Secure, thro’ her, the noble prize to carry,
- He marches off, his Grace’s Secretary.220
- ‘Now turn to diff’rent sports (the Goddess cries),
- And learn, my sons, the wondrous power of Noise.
- To move, to raise, to ravish ev’ry heart,
- With Shakespeare’s nature, or with Jonson’s art,
- Let others aim; ’t is yours to shake the soul
- With thunder rumbling from the mustard bowl ;
- With horns and trumpets now to madness swell,
- Now sink in sorrow with a tolling bell!
- Such happy arts attention can command
- When Fancy flags, and Sense is at a stand.
- Improve we these. Three Cat-calls be the bribe231
- Of him whose chatt’ring shames the monkey tribe;
- And his this drum, whose hoarse heroic bass
- Drowns the loud clarion of the braying ass.’
- Now thousand tongues are heard in one loud din:
- The monkey mimics rush discordant in;
- ’T was chatt’ring, grinning, mouthing, jabb’ring all,
- And noise and Norton, brangling and Breval,
- Dennis and dissonance, and captious art,
- And snipsnap short, and interruption smart,240
- And demonstration thin, and theses thick,
- And Major, Minor, and Conclusion quick.
- ‘Hold (cried the Queen), a Cat-call each shall win;
- Equal your merits! equal is your din!
- But that this well-disputed game may end,
- Sound forth, my Brayers, and the welkin rend.’
- As when the long-ear’d milky mothers wait
- At some sick miser’s triple-bolted gate,
- For their defrauded absent foals they make
- A moan so loud, that all the guild awake;
- Sore sighs Sir Gilbert, starting at the bray,
- From dreams of millions, and three groats to pay,252
- So swells each windpipe; ass intones to ass,
- Harmonic twang! of leather, horn, and brass;
- Such as from lab’ring lungs th’ Enthusiast blows,
- High sound, attemper’d to the vocal nose;
- Or such as bellow from the deep divine;
- There Webster! peal’d thy voice, and, Whitefield! thine.
- But far o’er all, sonorous Blackmore’s strain;
- Walls, steeples, skies, bray back to him again;260
- In Tot’nam Fields the brethren, with amaze,
- Prick all their ears up, and forget to graze!
- Long Chancery Lane retentive rolls the sound,
- And courts to courts return it round and round;
- Thames wafts it thence to Rufus’ roaring hall,
- And Hungerford reëchoes bawl for bawl.
- All hail him victor in both gifts of song,
- Who sings so loudly, and who sings so long.
- This labour past, by Bridewell all descend
- (As morning prayer and flagellation end )270
- To where Fleet Ditch, with disemboguing streams,
- Rolls the large tribute of dead dogs to Thames;
- The king of dykes! than whom no sluice of mud
- With deeper sable blots the silver flood.
- ‘Here strip, my children! here at once leap in;
- Here prove who best can dash thro’ thick and thin,
- And who the most in love of dirt excel,
- Or dark dexterity of groping well:
- Who flings most filth, and wide pollutes around
- The stream, be his the Weekly Journals bound;280
- A Pig of Lead to him who dives the best;
- A Peck of Coals apiece shall glad the rest.’
- In naked majesty Oldmixon stands,
- And, Milo-like, surveys his arms and hands;
- Then sighing, thus, ‘And am I now three-score?
- Ah, why, ye Gods! should two and two make four?’
- He said, and climb’d a stranded lighter’s height,
- Shot to the black abyss, and plunged downright.
- The senior’s judgment all the crowd admire,289
- Who but to sink the deeper rose the higher.
- Next Smedley dived; slow circles dimpled o’er
- The quaking mud, that closed and oped no more.
- All look, all sigh, and call on Smedley lost;
- ‘Smedley!’ in vain resounds thro’ all the coast.
- Then [Hill] essay’d; scarce vanish’d out of sight,
- He buoys up instant, and returns to light;
- He bears no tokens of the sabler streams,
- And mounts far off among the swans of Thames.
- True to the bottom, see Concanen creep,
- A cold, long-winded native of the deep;300
- If perseverance gain the diver’s prize,
- Not everlasting Blackmore this denies:
- No noise, no stir, no motion canst thou make;
- Th’ unconscious stream sleeps o’er thee like a lake.
- Next plunged a feeble, but a desp’rate pack,
- With each a sickly brother at his back:
- Sons of a Day! just buoyant on the flood,
- Then number’d with the puppies in the mud.
- Ask ye their names? I could as soon disclose
- The names of these blind puppies as of those.310
- Fast by, like Niobe (her children gone),
- Sits mother Osborne, stupefied to stone!
- And monumental brass this record bears,
- ‘These are, ah no! these were the Gazetteers!’
- Not so bold Arnall; with a weight of skull
- Furious he dives, precipitately dull.
- Whirlpools and storms his circling arms invest,
- With all the might of gravitation blest.
- No crab more active in the dirty dance,
- Downward to climb, and backward to advance,320
- He brings up half the bottom on his head,
- And loudly claims the Journals and the Lead.
- The plunging Prelate, and his pond’rous Grace,
- With holy envy gave one layman place.
- When lo! a burst of thunder shook the flood,
- Slow rose a form in majesty of mud;
- Shaking the horrors of his sable brows,
- And each ferocious feature grim with ooze.
- Greater he looks, and more than mortal stares;
- Then thus the wonders of the deep declares.330
- First he relates how, sinking to the chin,
- Smit with his mien, the mud-nymphs suck’d him in;
- How young Lutetia, softer than the down,
- Nigrina black, and Merdamante brown,
- Vied for his love in jetty bowers below,
- As Hylas fair was ravish’d long ago.
- Then sung, how shown him by the nut-brown maids
- A branch of Styx here rises from the shades,
- That tinctured as it runs with Lethe’s streams,
- And wafting vapours from the land of dreams340
- (As under seas Alpheus’ secret sluice
- Bears Pisa’s offering to his Arethuse),
- Pours into Thames; and hence the mingled wave
- Intoxicates the pert, and lulls the grave:
- Here, brisker vapours o’er the Temple creep;
- There, all from Paul’s to Algate drink and sleep.
- Thence to the banks where rev’rend bards repose
- They led him soft; each rev’rend bard arose;
- And Milbourn chief, deputed by the rest,
- Gave him the cassock, surcingle, and vest.
- ‘Receive (he said) these robes which once were mine;351
- Dulness is sacred in a sound divine.’
- He ceas’d, and spread the robe; the crowd confess
- The rev’rend flamen in his lengthen’d dress.
- Around him wide a sable army stand,
- A low-born, cell-bred, selfish, servile band,
- Prompt or to guard or stab, or saint or damn,
- Heav’n’s Swiss, who fight for any God or Man.
- Thro’ Lud’s famed gates, along the well-known Fleet,
- Rolls the black troop, and overshades the street,360
- Till showers of Sermons, Characters, Essays,
- In circling fleeces whiten all the ways.
- So clouds replenish’d from some bog below,
- Mount in dark volumes, and descend in snow.
- Here stopt the Goddess; and in pomp proclaims
- A gentler exercise to close the games.
- ‘Ye Critics! in whose heads, as equal scales,
- I weigh what author’s heaviness prevails;
- Which most conduce to soothe the soul in slumbers,
- My Henley’s periods, or my Blackmore’s numbers;370
- Attend the trial we propose to make:
- If there be man who o’er such works can wake,
- Sleep’s all subduing charms who dares defy,
- And boasts Ulysses’ ear with Argus’ eye;
- To him we grant our amplest powers to sit
- Judge of all present, past, and future wit;
- To cavil, censure, dictate, right or wrong,
- Full and eternal privilege of tongue.’
- Three college Sophs, and three pert Templars came,
- The same their talents, and their tastes the same!380
- Each prompt to query, answer, and debate,
- And smit with love of Poesy and Prate.
- The pond’rous books two gentle readers bring;
- The heroes sit, the vulgar form a ring;
- The clam’rous crowd is hush’d with mugs of mum,
- Till all tuned equal send a gen’ral hum.
- Then mount the clerks, and in one lazy tone
- Thro’ the long, heavy, painful page drawl on;
- Soft creeping words on words the sense compose,
- At ev’ry line they stretch, they yawn, they doze.390
- As to soft gales top-heavy pines bow low
- Their heads, and lift them as they cease to blow,
- Thus oft they rear, and oft the head decline,
- As breathe, or pause, by fits, the airs divine;
- And now to this side, now to that they nod,
- As verse, or prose, infuse the drowsy God.
- Thrice Budgell aim’d to speak, but thrice supprest
- By potent Arthur, knock’d his chin and breast.
- Toland and Tindal, prompt at priests to jeer,
- Yet silent bow’d to ‘Christ’s no kingdom here.’400
- Who sat the nearest, by the words o’ercome,
- Slept first; the distant nodded to the hum,
- Then down are roll’d the books; stretch’d o’er ’em lies
- Each gentle clerk, and mutt’ring seals his eyes.
- As what a Dutchman plumps into the lakes,
- One circle first and then a second makes,
- What Dulness dropt among her sons imprest
- Like motion from one circle to the rest:
- So from the midmost the nutation spreads,
- Round and more round, o’er all the sea of heads.410
- Thus the soft gifts of sleep conclude the day,
- And stretch’d on bulks, as usual Poets lay.
- Why should I sing what bards the nightly Muse421
- Did slumb’ring visit, and convey to stews?
- Who prouder march’d, with magistrates in state,
- To some famed roundhouse, ever-open gate?
- How Henley lay inspired beside a sink,
- And to mere mortals seem’d a priest in drink,
- While others, timely, to the neighb’ring Fleet
- (Haunt of the Muses) made their safe retreat?
[Page 230.]Book II.
[Line 2.]Henley’s gilt tub. The pulpit of a Dissenter is usually called a Tub; but that of Mr. Orator Henley was covered with velvet, and adorned with gold. He had also a fair altar, and over it this extraordinary inscription. The Primitive Eucharist. See the history of this person. Book III. ver. 199. (Pope.)
[Line 3.]Or that whereon her Curlls, etc. An allusion to an experience of Edmund Curll’s in the pillory.
[Line 15.]Querno. Camillo Querno, a would-be poet of Apulia, introduced as a buffoon to Leo X. and given in return for his verses a mock coronation.
[Line 68.]Jacob. Jacob Lintot.
[Line 70.]Corinna. Supposed to refer to Mrs. Elizabeth Thomas, whom Pope accuses of having sold some private correspondence of his to Curll.
[Line 82.] The Bible, Curll’s sign; the crosskeys, Lintot’s. (Pope.)
[Line 93.]Cloacina. The Roman Goddess of the sewers. (Pope.)
[Line 125.]Mears, Warner, Wilkins. Booksellers, and printers of much anonymous stuff. (Pope.)
[Line 126.]Breval. Bond, Bezaleel [Bezaleel Morris]. Three small authors of the day.
[Line 138.]Cook shall be Prior. The man here specified writ a thing called The Battle of Poets, in which Philips and Welsted were the Heroes, and Swift and Pope utterly routed. He also published some malevolent things in the British, London, and Daily Journals; and at the same time wrote letters to Mr. Pope, protesting his innocence. His chief work was a translation of Hesiod, to which Theobald writ notes and half notes, which he carefully owned. (Pope.)
[Lines 149, 150.]Tutchin—Ridpath, Roper. London editors of The Observator, The Flying Post, and The Post-boy, whom Pope, in long notes, accuses of scandalous practices.
[Line 157.]Eliza. Eliza Hagwood, authoress of those most scandalous books called The Court of Carimania, and The New Utopia. (Pope.)
[Line 160.]Kirkall. The name of an Engraver. Some of this lady’s works were printed . . . with her picture thus dressed up before them. (Pope.)
[Line 205.]Bentley his mouth, etc. Not spoken of the famous Dr. Richard Bentley, but of one Tho. Bentley, a small critic, who aped his uncle in a little Horace. (Pope.)
[Line 226.]Thunder rumbling from the mustard bowl. The old way of making Thunder and Mustard were the same; but since, it is more advantageously performed by troughs of wood with stops in them. (Pope.)
[Line 270.] (As morning prayer and flagellation end.) It is between eleven and twelve in the morning, after church service, that the criminals are whipt in Bridewell.—This is to mark punctually the time of the day: Homer does it by the circumstance of the Judges rising from court, or of the Labourer’s dinner; our author by one very proper both to the Persons and the Scene of his poem, which we may remember commenced in the evening of the Lord-mayor’s day: The first book passed in that night; the next morning the games begin in the Strand, thence along Fleet-street (places inhabited by Booksellers); then they proceed by Bridewell toward Fleet-ditch, and lastly thro’ Ludgate to the City and the Temple of the Goddess. (Pope.)
[Line 291.]Smedley. Jonathan, editor of the Whitehall Journal, and author of an attack on Pope and Swift called Gulliveriana and Alexandriana.
[Line 299.]Concanen. Matthew Concanen, an Irishman, bred to the law. He was author of several dull and dead scurrilities in the British and London Journals, and in a paper called the Speculatist. In a pamphlet, called a Supplement to the Profund, he dealt very unfairly with our Poet, not only frequently imputing to him Mr. Broome’s verses (for which he might indeed seem in some degree accountable, having corrected what that gentleman did) but those of the duke of Buckingham and others. To this rare piece somebody humorously caused him to take for his motto, De profundis clamavi. He was since a hired scribbler in the Daily Courant, where he poured forth much Billingsgate against the lord Bolingbroke, and others; after which this man was surprisingly promoted to administer Justice and Law in Jamaica. (Pope.)
[Line 400.] ‘Christ’s no kingdom here.’ This alludes to a series of sermons preached by Bishop Hoadley before George I.
[Line 411.]Centlivre. Mrs. Susanna Centlivre, wife to Mr. Centlivre, Yeoman of the Mouth to his Majesty. She writ many Plays, and a Song (says Mr. Jacob) before she was seven years old. She also writ a Ballad against Mr. Pope’s Homer before he began it. (Pope.)
[Line 412.]Motteux. Peter Anthony Motteux, the excellent translator of Don Quixote, and author of a number of forgotten dramatic pieces. Dryden addressed a complimentary Epistle to him. He died in 1718. (Carruthers.)
[Line 413.]Boyer the State, and Law the Stage gave o’er. A. Boyer, a voluminous compiler of Annals, Political Collections, &c.—William Law, A. M. wrote with great zeal against the Stage; Mr. Dennis answered with as great. Their books were printed in 1726. (Pope.)
[Line 414.]Morgan. A man of some learning, and uncommon acuteness, with a strong disposition to Satire, which very often degenerated into scurrility. His most celebrated work is the Moral Philosopher, first published in the year 1737. (Bowles.)
[Line 415.]Norton, from Daniel, etc. Norton De Foe.
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